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NEXT EXIT: AREA
51
Would
Independence
Day be a better movie without
all the Area 51 bullshit? Did director Roland Emmerich and his co-writer
Dean Devlin get their filler by watching those sci-fi nuts on Larry King’s
TNT special? (I confess to seeing it—twice; anyone who imports a desk
and uses the sunset in the near-Roswell desert as his backdrop is a showman
deserving of an encore.) Would
ID4
be more receptive without
Bill Pullman mouthing perfunctory lines flashing in our heads before
the cue? Without Randy Quaid’s boozer-turned-hero? Without Will Smith a little
too conveniently landing his chopper at his decimated base to be greeted
by his gal pal? Let’s face it: like Jurassic Park,
ID4 is just okay. Enjoyable on its own junk terms up to
a point, we all probably begin to quietly mumble Oh no, Emmerich’s not going
to let them do that and sure enough Harvey Fierstein and Judd Hirsch do their
super toxic schtick, and Oh God, it’s another tiring mutation of Ridley Scott’s
aliens—this time much smarter: they’re hegemonic invaders. We watch
ID4 to see the long-advertised special effects, which are,
in succession, wowie, good and then blurry. There’s one huge collective
disappointment: the mother space ship and its 15 mile-in-diameter babies.
We never get near enough to them for clear-eyed views; just when we think
we will—like when one of the midget terrors comes out of its fiery
Close Encounters cloud over two NYC bridges—it’s
gone; this magnificent “phenomena” isn’t held long enough for us
to perceive its paralyzing other-world majesty. It needed to have been
one of those “Wow!” moments only movies can provide. And inside
the mother ship, things get awfully hazy, we can’t get a techno fix. (We
get better views of the movie in the MVP licensing publication
Independence
Day, the Official Collector’s
Magazine.) The lack of the luxury to linger is a mistake; this movie really
is all about the terror of technological awesomeness and in
order to feel the fright and panic, in order to respond to
what’s pretending to be larger than we are, we need some realistic
impressions—we need to be convinced of the expensive razzle dazzle we’re
watching. On this level
Jurassic
Park succeeds: if we’re
unavoidably aware of the mechanical contraptions and computer-generated effects,
we marvel at how Spielberg and his Merlinettes give their monsters (who only
have about seven minutes on screen) a real charge. In
ID4, we want to oooh and aah too, we want to get caught
up in the War of the Worlds, yet we’re detached—we’re
watching roughly fifty minutes of FX initially intimidate, only to become
elusive to our senses; they stay “out there” for too long. (And
sometimes the effects are shoddy, like the exteriors of the Air Force One
model, and the aliens’ humpy fighters look like those plastic HairWiz cutters
you buy at Walgreen’s. Many of the special effects in Emmerich’s boobish
The Day After Tomorrow are pretty shabby, too.) Actually,
ID4’s trailer, which kept Fox from having to spend much
money on ads, has been out there for too long: our politics aside, when the
White House explodes, the audience I saw the movie with didn’t cheer or react
demonstrably in any way—not like it was reported from theatres during
first screenings. We’ve been too prepared for it; even people
who haven’t gone to the movies in years have the scene burned into ever-lasting
memory. The explosion works against the picture in another way too: it’s
pop ’em sock ’em sci fi pyrotechnics but it’s also pop culture debasement,
different from the intentional laughs of contempt Sylvia Sidney gives us
in Mars Attacks when Congress gets blitzed but not too different
from women in Stars & Stripes halter tops. (A wit who saw the movie early
in its release observed, “Titsnflaggers who want a Constitutional amendment
outlawing flag burning seem to be the ones hooting it up the most when the
White House gets it.”) What laughs there are come out of a peculiar
embarrassment: I got a good one over the fact there’s little objection
to nuking my hometown Houston to bits. No one will win any blue screen acting
awards, with the exception of a Razzie nomination for Quaid. And what
extraordinary good luck for Jeff Goldblum to be cast in blockbusters. Pullman’s
wonderfully gravelled voice helps alot, as does the “comeback kid”
persona. Playing his Dee Dee Myers, Margaret Colin’s a pleasant clone of
Mary Louise Parker and Elizabeth Perkins.
ID4 has made its three hundred million dollar domestic
gross in the same way Jurassic Park did—by giving summer
movie audiences the stories they love but movies they end up feeling indifferent
about. A loving update of Ray Harryhausen’s Earth Vs. The Flying
Saucers, it’s not much more than a joint of Roswellian hemp from
which outer space buffs can get a so-so buzz.
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ralphbenner@nowreviewing.com
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